Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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