We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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