Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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