she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
