It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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