just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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