Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my shit smells like andre
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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