Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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