Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm always down for nudity.
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