But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
