Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
