If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
