Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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