i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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