How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I stole a fireplace last night.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
