This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
