Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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