Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
