going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
