i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
