She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
