I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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