hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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