I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
50% drunk capacity currently
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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