You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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