I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
