Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
