I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
