Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
