The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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