I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
