I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
