Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
