That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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