it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How's work?
Spinning.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
