Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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