Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
