xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
