Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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