I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
