I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize