Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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