I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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