it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
