TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
