thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize