While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
