you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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