It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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