Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
