found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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