a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
