highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize