Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
