He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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