Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
