I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
