Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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