You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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