You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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