like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
