so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
