ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
