come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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