I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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