OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
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Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
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pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize