First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize