im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
