his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
