So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
