It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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